Would I call it an epiphany? Nah.

Today

I came to the realization that I'm not interested in selling my soul in order to survive. I know I might regret this in the short run, but I know I'll be alright. I'll struggle a little to have a fulfilling life. This doesn't mean rising to fame and doing extravagant things all the time. I've also learned that I enjoy simplicity. This means that I will vote to make the most of my time. I will impress me. I will make a difference somewhere doing something important. I'll live for me and only me. I hope that in the wake of my self love I inspire others to rise as well, but I don't necessarily want to help anyone else cause honestly, I can't even help me. Does that make me a bad person?

Unfortunately I've been used and abused, not in a physical way really. Although I've seen a bit of that too, but more so I've been abused mentally. My emotions are taken advantage of regularly, because I'm a woman of passion and this is known. But I need to redirect my heart to more productive activities. I'm over it. I'm not saying this is my mantra, to now be mean and heartless, but I am jaded a bit. I don't necessarily like it but it is what it is. And I feel safe. I feel so much safer that way. Is that wise? I don't know, but I'm focusing on me. I'm not wasting anymore time, because everyone lives for themselves. It's not even a secret. And this ain't even to say I'll never help anyone else, because honestly it's what I aspire to do. I aspire to be in a position in which I'm FORCED to spread the wealth. I want to be the biggest patron of the arts, and I want to increase education and knowledge for ALL. I want to break barriers and blaze trails. I want to be loved. I really do, but I don't want to forsake my own happiness, ever. I want to take the risk and find my niche for what it really is. I'll be great. I'm already greatness.