Monday, December 15, 2014
Sunday, December 14, 2014
On the subject of class reunions:
"You know, we should go to one of those reunions one of these days"
"We can't! Everybody's dead!"
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Prolly don't make no sense. My subconscious. Full of cliches. YOLF
La Cerveza Mas Fina
The shelf life of malt liquor
To write in this state
1 broken mind
too much time
the room floats
the consumer is stable
sturdy as a rock
all is able to happen here
there are no fears
to call someone would be a mistake
there's solace here
in this place
in this glass bottle
on this drunken tongue lingers
a malted heir
although it's not to be comprehended
words of courage are born here
bad habits don't form
no habits are bad
these are the actions that warm
no need for discipline
heed the warning
in this bottle
there is knowledge
truth and solace
nothing is wrong here
But what about sobriety
You think this is good for you
A dunce cap for you
sit there and entertain
let the people enjoy at your expense
entertain them Charlie
they will love you
Drink and be merry
they will love you
Friday, December 5, 2014
It was nice, not what I was expecting. The people weirded me out a little. Maybe I have too much of the east coast skepticism. I still wanna go to Berkeley tho.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Guess who met Bill Nye. You know, the science guy?
It was so sweeeeeeet!
Although I missed the whole speech messing around with my mom. She lucky I love her unconditionally. -___- (tbh it was nice sharing an experience with someone for a change)
It was about water discoveries in space, space exploration and all those exciting things. To be honest, I was more interested in the topic than he, but getting a celebrity that helped shape so much of my future as a child was a perk.
However, I know I shouldn't be surprised, but he didn't want to hear my thank you it seemed. I get it, he gets it all the time and that's such a small part of his career. This man was extremely accomplished before the show. I mean, how do you think he got there in the first place! Yet, I wanted him to know how he helped shift the path of that little girl sitting on the floor in our apartment in Henrico. He wasn't the worse, but he wouldn't let me express it fully. It was jovial tho, he's good with the jokes. I find it hard to believe that one of my favorite things, as a 6 year old, or the way I learned the colors of the rainbow, had little interest in hearing about it. He did invite me to join the planetary society, and he told me that the love of science is something that never lets go once it grabs hold. But don't you see the hero you are Mr. Nye? You've inspired a generation of scientist, educators, etc. Some of which (like myself) would not have had the opportunity to become interested in STEM fields. Our schools, as we all know, don't always cut it. The communities are lacking sometimes, but the television.... we learn so much from it. We are educated thru the arts. Art of all forms, be it writing, images, movement, whatever, it teaches something.
Art is Science.
Where they meet, is faith.
Art is Science is Faith
Monday, December 1, 2014
I'm not golden. Nor am I a child. But I am golden. I am a child.
Welcome to the new adventures of me.
Sunday, November 30, 2014
I like my blog being hidden, cause I don't have to worry about criticism. But when I started, my intentions weren't too keep my thoughts to myself.
So I'll stop being a little bitch and post this for others to see.
Judge me. Please.
(But not really. You don't know me!)
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Sunday, November 23, 2014
I came to the realization that I'm not interested in selling my soul in order to survive. I know I might regret this in the short run, but I know I'll be alright. I'll struggle a little to have a fulfilling life. This doesn't mean rising to fame and doing extravagant things all the time. I've also learned that I enjoy simplicity. This means that I will vote to make the most of my time. I will impress me. I will make a difference somewhere doing something important. I'll live for me and only me. I hope that in the wake of my self love I inspire others to rise as well, but I don't necessarily want to help anyone else cause honestly, I can't even help me. Does that make me a bad person?
Unfortunately I've been used and abused, not in a physical way really. Although I've seen a bit of that too, but more so I've been abused mentally. My emotions are taken advantage of regularly, because I'm a woman of passion and this is known. But I need to redirect my heart to more productive activities. I'm over it. I'm not saying this is my mantra, to now be mean and heartless, but I am jaded a bit. I don't necessarily like it but it is what it is. And I feel safe. I feel so much safer that way. Is that wise? I don't know, but I'm focusing on me. I'm not wasting anymore time, because everyone lives for themselves. It's not even a secret. And this ain't even to say I'll never help anyone else, because honestly it's what I aspire to do. I aspire to be in a position in which I'm FORCED to spread the wealth. I want to be the biggest patron of the arts, and I want to increase education and knowledge for ALL. I want to break barriers and blaze trails. I want to be loved. I really do, but I don't want to forsake my own happiness, ever. I want to take the risk and find my niche for what it really is. I'll be great. I'm already greatness.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Sacrificing for the greater good
Of the people
With the thought of the one in misery
Knowing they're there and blocking from their memory the gruesome reality
And stay present
And let it not be in vain
So they stay in Omelas
And enjoy the nice things
But at night their dreams haunt them
On occasion we forget
Get a few nights of rest
But it always comes back
And nobody sleeps well here
Sunday, October 26, 2014
What is it?
Lately I've been feeling a bit insane in my brain. I'm not sure why but I can't pinpoint the exact feeling, the root of this cause, but it's bothersome. Like flies buzzing past your ears as you fall asleep at night.
I don't know. And that's the thing. I try to keep in the path of the righteous, but my demons have been eating me. I wanted to befriend them, I tried to let them be. But they keep trying me.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Whenever I manage to go somewhere new, I make it a mission to treat myself to something. Today tho, I'm just in the mood for tea, so that's what I have, tea from Peet's. Finally. I made it to the west coast, and let me tell you.... the world done fucked up forreal! My mom was right, I do in fact like it too much, and that's just in regards to the weather and the weed. I don't even know the people yet but the barista at this cafe, Domo, he was sweet, and my hostesses are pretty cool too. So, so far I fucks with it alll the way. It's kind of too good to be true, and that scares me some. With the exception of the sketchiness. Like, idk why but they're sketch as fuck here, or it seems so at least. And just like New York, it smells like pee. It might even be worse here actually.
However, I still have this looming feeling of disaster. I could just be anxious, cause you know, the future is endless. I've been realizing how dependant I am these last few days. It's wild cause at home I'm praised for my autonomy and independence, but here I feel like I need help with everything. It could be something that's necessary cause I'm new here, but hopefully it's short lived. I like it tho, I have everything I need ya know (Except a restroom). I've been working on telling myself that it's an actual possibility, to have all you need and desire.
The first night I was here, I was greeted with a hot blanket fresh out the dryer and I was in love. I was eavesdropping on a conversation and I'm glad I did cause it changed my perspective a little. She said she don't feel no type of way giving to people cause she lives in surplus. And I'd never really thought of it that way. I'm forever trynna humble myself and do without any extra, but in actuality I might just be denying myself all that's good. It's a hard balance to find when it comes to living the life of luxury and humility. My mom told me I don't always have to sleep on the floor, if I work for a nice bed then I should have it. I think I've convinced myself that sleeping on the floor is better for me tho. It might take some work to reroute my thoughts.
I'm realizing how much I love to talk to people, but not everyone wants to hear it lol. I don't care too much tho, as long as you love me.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Friday, October 3, 2014
Figuring out what to say. You have this platform and all these possibilities, but what do you say?
Ideally something meaningful, something that gives some sort of real insight and inspires the masses to do better. Something real.
I don't really want to say too much tho. I know, you need substance, but the simplest things are the most complex right? So why not just say what I fuckin feel like?!
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Monday, September 29, 2014
The other day I flew.
Or I almost flew but then I got scared,
And so I fell forward and skid across the gravel
In a moment I was reminded of the mortal I am
Cause that shit HURRRRT
But in that next moment I thought about the immortal I am
And it gave me a rush
Made me wanna do some more thrillin stuff
Cause life lately has lost some of the... idk. Maybe I just lost zeal
And I hate that I find it in things that probably aren't the best for me
Like causing chaos
Getting arrested by police
But fuck it. Love fast die young was once the mantra
However I'm prone to live forever
Just not in this physical state and I'm cool with that
I'm working on my 8th life
(Secretly I'm a cat and curiosity will in fact kill me)
Long story short
... I'm still sore
And I was soooo afraid that my nipples were gone as I was "flying" across the ground
But they were there when I looked, safe and sound
But I got an opportunity to lay on a table and chill with this tree
I don't know why suddenly my phone is underlining everything
But that's my story. It ended nicely, I met a gardener named Lona and she gave me some okra. Turns out I like raw okra.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
It's funny how I hear that everywhere I go. Even the place I consider my native land doesn't recognize me as its own. Virginia is the misfit. For individuals at least.
Oddly, a lot of people tell me I fit right in, like I belong wherever I'm at, for more than one place. That's valid tho, I'm supposed to be where I'm at right? I don't mind. But I hate feeling like an alien, proving myself to fit into some niche in society. I guess I'm past the point of proving myself actually. If you like it, I love it and if not then oh well.
They usually love my lack of swagger type swagger tho. Cause they can't figure it out. I'm cool with it. I try n tell em I'm an anomaly but they never listen. They gon' love me tho! They gon' loooove me ;)
Watch out world...
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Monday, September 8, 2014
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Friday, August 22, 2014
I've been talking about making this blog for some time now, and finally... it exist! Not at all in completion, but it's the beginning. So I'm ok with it simply existing for now.
However, I guess I should let you know what I'm here for and what I'm about.
The Social Loner: As many of us are, is one who, although they may know a lot of people, and engage in activities with others often, do a majority of their adventures solo.
That's me, I'd rather be solo sometimes. I take myself on dinner dates in new states, and sometimes I just walk around to see what's going on.
I always see the BEST pictures when I'm alone, so this is where I'll share them, and reflect and shit. I mean, maybe nobody else will care, but sometimes, even tho I'm alone, I still wanna share with someone. This is the perfect platform to do so right?
This way, I won't have to forsake my solitude, but I'll also get to connect with the world outside my head directly.
Maybe none of what I'm saying is relevant, or maybe it won't make sense, but I'm trying to get out of my mind a little.
You are now about to enter the twilight zone.
p.s. bear with me while I figure out this blogging shit