Showing posts with label risk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label risk. Show all posts

Thursday, January 22, 2015

#SoloDinnerDate

I'm not in a new state, but today I felt sort of, shitty. I've been so engulfed in working this minimum wage job in order to pay my dues that I've been neglecting all aspects of myself. Although, it seems to give me some sort or purpose, and I enjoy the company of my coworkers, at the end of the day it's easy money, and my coworkers are only coworkers (for now). There's no promise of a career, or friends, and low-key that's all I'm looking for honestly. I'm just a young nigga out here looking for love and money. Yes, a young NIGGA. Whatever it implies. You'd never know unless I told you however. Or maybe you would? Who cares, but it seems pretty standard right? Isn't that the goal for most of us, if not all? Aren't we all niggas in some way? But what does that even mean? Let's do some research and touch back on this topic. *rain check* Some just have a better advantage of achieving goals.

Anyways, I'm here at this restaurant in Georgetown, I-Thai, it's a nice atmosphere and this long island is one if the Best I've had, but it's just a long island. I decided to treat myself to my first happy hour, crazy I've never been. These shrimp dumplings and spring rolls are only $1.50! They're alright tho, something about the dumplings taste a little off to me. I can't quite pin it down. It has the subtle taste of an old sour rag.

Sidenote: Everyone's looking at me eat  by myself. Or the bartender is at least

I have a desire to get a little drunk and greet customers. Sorry, guests. It'll be fun for me tho. I'm realizing that paying by the book to the tee isn't all that great. I've been asking myself what the difference between a winner and a hard worker is lately, cause I'm pretty sure 2nd place works hard as well, but they don't win the gold. Why? I think there's a risk factor involved, winners push limits, take risk,work harder and don't look back. Right? So how do you meet that edge of greatness and cross from mediocrity? Take a risk, fail and fall, or not but be willing to do so.

Trust thyself.

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Taking the Leap

I like my blog being hidden, cause I don't have to worry about criticism. But when I started, my intentions weren't too keep my thoughts to myself.

So I'll stop being a little bitch and post this for others to see.

Judge me. Please.

(But not really. You don't know me!)

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Would I call it an epiphany? Nah.

Today

I came to the realization that I'm not interested in selling my soul in order to survive. I know I might regret this in the short run, but I know I'll be alright. I'll struggle a little to have a fulfilling life. This doesn't mean rising to fame and doing extravagant things all the time. I've also learned that I enjoy simplicity. This means that I will vote to make the most of my time. I will impress me. I will make a difference somewhere doing something important. I'll live for me and only me. I hope that in the wake of my self love I inspire others to rise as well, but I don't necessarily want to help anyone else cause honestly, I can't even help me. Does that make me a bad person?

Unfortunately I've been used and abused, not in a physical way really. Although I've seen a bit of that too, but more so I've been abused mentally. My emotions are taken advantage of regularly, because I'm a woman of passion and this is known. But I need to redirect my heart to more productive activities. I'm over it. I'm not saying this is my mantra, to now be mean and heartless, but I am jaded a bit. I don't necessarily like it but it is what it is. And I feel safe. I feel so much safer that way. Is that wise? I don't know, but I'm focusing on me. I'm not wasting anymore time, because everyone lives for themselves. It's not even a secret. And this ain't even to say I'll never help anyone else, because honestly it's what I aspire to do. I aspire to be in a position in which I'm FORCED to spread the wealth. I want to be the biggest patron of the arts, and I want to increase education and knowledge for ALL. I want to break barriers and blaze trails. I want to be loved. I really do, but I don't want to forsake my own happiness, ever. I want to take the risk and find my niche for what it really is. I'll be great. I'm already greatness.